How I define my personal style
I used to think effortless style meant owning better clothes. Turns out, it mostly means knowing how to repeat outfits without getting bored.
image via netaporter
I would save outfits on Instagram, scroll through runway recaps and online shops, and convince myself that if I just bought the right pieces, I’d finally feel put together. Not only did this never work, but what happened was a closet full of clothes — and somehow still nothing to wear.
It wasn’t until I slowed down and started paying attention to what I reached for every day that my personal style finally made sense.
And it turns out it has a lot less to do with trends than I once thought and more to do with life as we know it – meaning, real-life and the things we do on a daily basis that are non-negotiable: work, family, errands, time for ourselves.
I always dressed based on how I felt, and ever since I was old enough to dress myself, I reached for jeans, a top, and a jacket / layer(s) depending on the season. This has become my uniform, and I haven’t realized it until a few years ago. Certain things we do on autopilot, without thinking too much about all the elements of a look and as such, I didn’t pay attention to it.
Once my wardrobe became overwhelming and I couldn’t see everything I owned because of lack of space I became concerned and started asking myself questions.
I am still figuring it out, because now, at 41, while my uniform has remained the same as ever, I am a wife and a mom and, also, my own person. This only means I want to respect my wishes and desires and dress for myself not for my age (what does that even mean?!) or for the ways society expects me to (I want to wear actual clothes to football practice with three year olds, not gym clothes, because while there’s nothing wrong with that, it just simply isn’t me).
Fast forward, and I concluded that, for me, personal style is about consistency, not novelty. The biggest shift came when I noticed patterns, and when I realized what my uniform was – not just in terms of pieces, but in what made me feel good wearing; not in what I admired online — but in what I wore on repeat in real life.
I kept reaching for:
Clean silhouettes
Neutral tones with the occasional pop
Comfortable pieces that still felt polished
Clothes that moved with me, not against me
Meanwhile, trendier items sat untouched.
That was my first clue.
My style wasn’t about constantly reinventing, it was about refining while staying true to myself.
Now, when I think about personal style, I think about:
What makes me feel like myself — just a little more elevated.
I stopped asking “Is this in?” and started asking better questions
These days, before I buy or wear something, I run it through a quick mental checklist:
Does this fit my lifestyle right now?
Can I picture at least three outfits with it?
Would I still like this in a year?
Does it feel effortless or like I’m trying too hard?
If the answer isn’t mostly yes, I skip it. This one habit alone has saved me money, closet space, and a lot of regret purchases.
Today, instead of chasing trends, I rely on a few go-to principles:
1. Start with great basics
Think: tailored pants, classic tees, good denim, structured layers. These are the backbone of almost every outfit I love.
2. Add one interesting element
A great bag.
A statement shoe.
A bold color.
A unique texture.
Just one — not five.
3. Keep it comfortable
If I’m adjusting it all day, it’s not my style - comfort doesn’t mean casual, it means ease. Also, I want to mention that I still enjoy trends, I just don’t let them run the show.
Instead of overhauling my wardrobe each season, I treat trends like accessories:
A color I love
A new silhouette that works with my staples
A fun detail
If it fits naturally into my existing closet, great and if not, I admire it from afar. This way, my style evolves — but stays true to me.
For me, good style isn’t about having more clothes, it’s about having the right ones.
My personal style today is:
Polished but relaxed.
Classic with a modern edge.
Comfortable but intentional.
It’s less about impressing and more about feeling confident, and it feels so much better than trying to keep up.
If there’s one takeaway from this, it’s this: your personal style already exists, you just have to pay attention to it. Look at what you wear when you’re not trying and notice what you repeat - that’s your real style.
Everything else is just noise.